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[Time passes slowly as she cries against him, each second drawn out longer and longer as she weeps and fights everything running through her mind.

That she can't be alone. That she doesn't want to do this to him. That she's not strong enough for this. That he needs to know what's happening. That she needs to pull back and take care of the dogs because they never got around to installing the 'doggy door' as Wolfe called it on the door at the back of the kitchen. That she's said nothing to Yennefer or the rest of Wolfe's friends or the city and they need to know, too.

Her legs finally give out and make the decision for her. She sinks to the floor, slowly for the help down that Patience offers, clawing at Caleb the whole while so he doesn't get far.

Don't let go. Don't leave me alone.

Her chest tightens as she takes in a slow, pained breath. It's all she can manage before she whispers the truth he suspects.]

He's gone. [And now her heart is completely and utterly shattered.]

[She doesn't have to claw very hard. Or at all. As soon as Amelia begins sinking to her knees, Caleb sinks with her. Holding on to her the same way she holds on to him.

(In aid of neither of them bashing their knees against the floor, he also murmurs a few arcane words under his breath and their descent in fact slows even more than it would with Patience's help.)

Then they're both kneeling on the floor. Then Amelia admits what Caleb does know in his heart. His stomach lurches a bit, throat going dry. But all he does is stroke Amelia's hair.]

I'm so sorry, Amelia.

[She hates those words.

She's said them hundreds of times to those grieving and she still hates them. What does it mean to be sorry to someone who's suffering a broken heart? What does it do for anyone to be told that someone feels sorry for them, especially when the person saying it has lost that same person? The heart aches and wants so much in moments like these and there's nothing a set of words like "I'm sorry" can do for any of them.

It's a cruel, unnecessary thought to have right now, but she can't keep her mind on any one thing for long. Later, she'll feel terrible for having thought it and be glad she said nothing in return to Caleb saying this to her. He means well and she knows it. The intent is what matters. It's all that matters right now.

Her forehead presses to his collarbone as she shifts her face in a small shake of her head.] I-I know it doesn't... doesn't change anything, but it's-- it's unfair. For them to do this. [To her. To Chris. To Caleb. To everyone Wolfe loved and appreciated.] It's not fair we have to be hurt.

No. It isn't fair at all.

[Some of his own grief seeps into those words...and some of his anger. Amelia's confirmation is slowly sinking in properly and becoming more and more of an upsetting reality. His grip on Amelia tightens a little bit though not enough for anything to become painful.]

[She can hear it, feel it, the start of his pain, and it... helps. A lot more than she could describe if asked. Her eyes fall closed as she nuzzles her forehead against him and redoubles her grip on him.]

I'm sorry. [That she was the one to tell him. That she even had to deliver the news. That she's so overwhelming in her grief that he hasn't had a chance to read Wolfe's words yet. Her heart aches as she thinks about what she's keeping him from by asking him to stay.]

I don't-- I-I want to have... something for you. But... [But there's nothing. No doubt he can tell, but dreams, it's unfair to have nothing after she's asked him here. She exhales a shaky breath and bites her lower lip.]

Promise... promise me you'll hold tight to what's still here. To who i-is still here. [Not to her, but to Essek. She's a Dominant, she can take care of herself. Or she can't and it'll be her own fucking fault for being so weak. That's not on him.] People s-still need you, and Wolfe... [Her Wolfe. Their Wolfe...] He'd want th-the same.

Will you promise me the same thing?

[It feels laughable, in an absurd sort of way, that Amelia is trying to make sure that he takes care of himself when her pain is so much more than his.

Still, his tone isn't chiding so much as it is both concerned and deeply sincere.

He's brushing aside her apology entirely, deeming it wholly unnecessary. In fact, he's not completely sure what it is she's apologizing for at all. It doesn't matter either way, though.]

[It's unfair that he asks her for anything. Unfair that he wants her to promise something she's always done. Unfair that she's trying to take care of him and he's refusing to let her. She wants him to be safe, to be loved in the way he deserve and that this place barely allows when it tears them apart like this so often. To be appreciated by someone who's known him long enough and well enough to be something more to him and who won't hurt him like she can, like she will if he stays this close.

Can't he see she wants to protect him from herself?

Can she hold on to all those she loves... cares for here? Can she promise she'll do that when it means being so selfish with him?]

I will. I... I promise.

[She's going to hurt him with this someday, she knows it, can feel it in her bones. But dreams damn her and nightmares take her, she doesn't ever want to let go of him.]

[Caleb's tighter embrace loosens, though he certainly isn't letting Amelia go. His lips brush over her temple before he answers in a murmur:]

Thank you.

[He does not for one second believe that what he's asked of her is easy at this moment. But that doesn't mean that it isn't important or that he very much hopes that she'll be able to keep that promise. He will do his best to support her in keeping the promise.]

Let's lie down for a little while?

[She nods, not trusting her voice at all after this. What if she says the wrong thing to him? What if she says the right thing and it turns out to be the last she has the chance to say before he's gone forever? The spiraling thought is enough to have her crying against him again once they've struggled into the bed.

Her bed. Only hers. No one else's. It belongs to her alone.

Again.

She means to send him away at some point, to encourage him home to Essek and to avoid getting in trouble on her behalf. As weak as she is right now, she cares more about his well-being than her own. Sacrificing herself, her happiness or body or whatever else it takes, for those she loves-- cares for is always her first choice over any other option that may present itself. This time, though... she can't. Tears cloud her vision and warm arms hold her, and before she can stop herself or tell him to leave, she drifts away in his arms, sleep taking her to dreams that will pain her more when she wakes. It's terrible and she should have told him to go, but she didn't.

Dreams, she hopes he'll forgive her or let her pay whatever fine the city imposes if he stays all night. He deserves so much more when he's hurting too, and she'll do everything she can to give that to him in the weeks to come.]

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